Out of Hiding

I know I said I’ve quit. But this I cannot ignore:

It’s hard not to write about the visit of the leader of one of the most destructive religions on the planet. I’m astonished to see how the news media just loves him (the Pope). He’s intelligent, sweet, little old man. But the media seems to not want to discuss some very important things:

1. The Catholic Church forces its priests into celibacy. Arguably, sex is one of the most important things in life (perhaps behind breathing). I know many people that if you asked them whether they’d like to have sex, a burger, or a coke, they’d pick sex. Sex is pretty important in life, and to restrict young men (priests) from doing it, is ridiculous. The priesthood has become some brotherhood of men who are gay, but cannot reconcile their religion and who they are. Unfortunately those straight guys who want to be priests are mixed in with these gay guys who are repressed. Even straight priests must find it annoying to constantly have to clean up after their wet dreams. It’s either that, or they secretly spank-off and just pay the price (penance).

1(a). When you have thousands of cases of child abuse under one organization, it’s not just 1 or 2 priests, it’s a lot of fucking priests. The numbers prove that this was no anomaly , it’s a problem

2. The Catholic Church hates Gays. Oh they “love” gays, but they’re going to hell if they don’t stop spanking other men. (or women if they’re lesbians)

3. The Catholic Church hates women. Oh they don’t really “hate” women, they’ve simply made them 2nd class citizens. They cannot hold any power in the Church. They cannot use birth control, therefore are at the mercy or their husbands (or God forbid, their boyfriends).

3(a). The same guy who thought it would be great for priests to be celibate was probably gay himself. Either that or was constantly thinking about women and found it a distraction. Or just kept the whole Adam and Eve bullshit going. Either way, men create religion and therefore men place women in 2nd class status.

4. The Catholic Church hate sex. This notion that your “seed” shouldn’t be spilled is fucking sick. Should I have felt guilty for having a wet dream when I was 14? How many babies must I have accidentally destroyed by spanking-off! It’s insane.

Most importantly, the Catholic Church continues to stand behind it’s moronic birth control policy. Now you’re probably thinking: “I know many Catholics that use condoms/birth control”. It’s true. Most Catholics in this country do use contraception. That’s because people in this country are smart. It’s the unfortunate, uneducated people of the 3rd world that are being screwed.

The Pope (a.k.a. the Church) believes that if you tell Africans to stop fucking, that they’ll listen. Instead of giving condoms, or teaching kids about sex and the fact that you can catch AIDS, or other VDs, they’re telling kids nothing (except stop having sex). Not only is it inadequate education, it’s fucking DEADLY! It’s inhuman. It’s mean spirited, purposely withholding knowledge from kids that you know could help them.

The kids don’t know they can catch AIDS or have babies by having sex, so they get pregnant. Or even worse, they catch AIDS. All because the fucking Church has a ridiculous notion that contraception is bad. Not only is it sad, it should be illegal.

You can see why I came out of hiding just to write this. Not saying I’m back for good. But this I just couldn’t keep in.

Nimbu

I think it’s time for a change

My original intent with my blog was to document my metamorphosis from non-practicing Muslim to full blown, flaming atheist. The tone of this blog has shifted away from just writing down my thoughts about atheism. I think my metamorphosis is complete. I don’t feel like writing anything regarding the subject.

Now that it’s been over a year of my new life, I’ve been watching the world without my tinted glasses. All of a sudden, I find myself surrounded by fucking idiots. I just heard on the radio this morning (NPR), about how some southern Baptist ministers are gathering folks in Georgia to “pray” for rain. Are you fucking kidding me!

This is newsworthy?

Was NPR’s attempt to show how crazy Georgian Baptists are? Or were they just giving equal airtime to the religious right?

I find it baffling that stories of god(s) still make it to the news. Fluff stories, no less.

What I’m trying to say here is that this blog for me is becoming depressing. I think it’s time for me to move on. Move on to happier topics…like technology, movies, music, etc.

As I write this, I can’t help but think about the daily traffic to this blog. I hope that I can influence some on-the-fence-Muslim to really critically think about their religion. Even if just 1 person is persuaded, I’m happy. I may stop blogging on a regular basis, but this site will stay up. I hope that more and more of my fellow Pakistani Muslims will start to analyze their lives, their country, their family structures, and most importantly their religion.

I will get the email notifications if people post, so I won’t be completely out of touch.

I have a god complex

I remember as a youngster, looking at my fellow Christians and Jews with a superiority complex. Not only did my parents instill this in me, but every religious “leader” in my life forced/encouraged me to believe that every non-Muslim was just simply ignorant. They didn’t know the truth. They were beneath me - it was my responsibility to teach them the truth. That was my mission. I should be grateful to have been born a Muslim.

I see the same condescending attitude all around me. From Muslims, Christians, Jews, and even Hindus & Buddhist.

They look at me as if I’m lost. As if I’m beneath them. It’s their mission to “teach” me.

This is a really interesting role reversal. I’m digging the dark side…

Eid Mubarak!

My first Eid as an atheist was a bit surreal.  I was surrounded by hundreds of Muslims from all over the world.  I couldn’t help but walk around with a smile on my face.  I also couldn’t help but wonder how many of these sheep actually has read the Quran - in their native language!  Probably not many.

I also wondered how many atheists or agnostics where present.  I tried out my atheism-radar for the first time.  I think I spotted a couple of guys that were probably non-believers like me.  They looked way to “normal”.  Most of the people at this mosque where Pakistani.  But there where also many middle-easterners and Africans.

It was much fun.

Later that evening, we were at a family dinner where we were discussing the annual tradition of arguing over who saw the moon and when.  Should we just follow the Saudis?  They are the custodians of Islam after all.  No, one of the guests mentioned.  We should wait for the moon sighting.

So I proceeded to have fun. 

“Don’t we have star/space observatories all up and down the US?  Shouldn’t this be more scientific?  Rather than depending on rumors?”  I asked the guests.

I saw a number of heads nodding “yes”.  But not “HELL YEA!”

“What if one was in an airplane?  Could they spot the moon and ‘phone it in’?”

More nodding - perhaps a couple of chuckles.

Finally - “What are Muslims going to do when we start living on Mars?  On Jupiter?”

My brother responded “Oh, there’s a different God on those planets.”

Oh, yeah.  It was a fantastic Eid!

Eid Mubarak everybody!

Another one joins the “dark side”

Welcome brotha!

It’s a strange Ramadan

This is one of those strange moments for the new atheist: going through Ramadan with a newly opened mind. For the first time ever, I’m entirely guilt-free while I eat during the day!

Wooohoooo!

This was one of the most confusing and painful parts of Islam. I was given many reasons for its existence: From sympathizing with the poor to cleansing, to being closer to God. But growing up, I couldn’t help it. I wasn’t feeling closer to God. I was just plain hungry. Hunger with an extra benefit of stinky breath.

Oh yes, all you non Muslims. When you don’t eat or drink water all day, you get nasty breath. Uber-nasty.

It sucked.

I couldn’t concentrate in school. I had nasty heart burn all morning, because we’d wake up at an ungodly hour to gorge! I always thought it was insane to consume virtually the same amount of calories, just at odd hours. Doesn’t it defeat the purpose? I guess that wasn’t the purpose anyway…

Anyway…what was really bothering me was this: Why would God want you to punish yourselves in his honor? Does he get some sort of sick pleasure watching children as young as 7 or 8 try to starve themselves all day? What the fuck? I’ll give you another example: There are many women in my life and some of them are extremely old with various medical conditions. They all feel compelled to fast. It drives me insane!

I don’t go over there preaching, trying to convert them! I simply get emotional and tell them: “God doesn’t want you to punish yourselves like this. You’re in no condition to fast.”

But the Islamic mind is not thinking rationally. I know what these ladies are thinking:

“I know I don’t have to fast, but if I do, perhaps I’ll get extra-credit!”

That’s right, folks. Extra credit. All religious people believe in it. It stems from the eye-for-an-eye philosophy. Catholics are instructed to say stuff repeatedly and count beads…and that’ll make up for spilling their seed last week! Or for having dirty thoughts about their neighbor’s wife!

Many Muslims cling to insane traditions similar to the Catholics: repeat this phrase a gazillion times and you’ll get what you’re looking for. What?!? It’s true. My mom believes it…all of her friends believe it. And you can find it anywhere on the internet. The magic of prayer! With step-by-step instructions.

Back from that tangent…

I’m super glad to be eating. I can’t believe that people can be so well disciplined. To not eat or drink (or smoke, or screw) all day takes will power. Now if only Muslims could apply that same will power to making their own countries and villages and societies better.

It’s too bad that wasn’t one of the 5 pillars of Islam. Perhaps there should’ve been a sixth:

Pillar number 6: Please don’t kill people. Never. I don’t like it. I’m God telling you that I don’t want you to kill people. It’s never justified. Don’t do it. This is the 6th pillar of your religion. By God. It’s me. I wrote this on a very large mountain in every language…on every continent. In fact, if you look at your palms right now, it’s written there too…in your language. You know how I did that? I’m God!!! I can do anything. That’s right. This is the end of my 6th Pillar

I’m done ranting - now it’s time to eat!!!

Why does God hate homosexuals?

I’m talking of course about all Abrahamic religions; but I want to focus on Christianity. No other religion pushes the loving nature of its god as much as Christianity. Apparently Jesus loves everybody, except homosexuals, idol worshipers and many more…too many to count. Apparently hell is going to be a very busy place.

Recent events in US politics have brought this issue up again. I just can’t seem to get around the circular argument that many Christians make: God loves you…but hates you because you’re a guy… and you like other guys. Why does God care about your sex life? Seriously: Is loving somebody of the same sex something to really hate? If I were god, I’d put people’s sexual stuff pretty far off my radar. It wasn’t so long ago that God didn’t like doggy-style! It was missionary position, or you’re going to hell. Again, why does God care about how you have sex?

Tangent…If I were God, I’d try to fix hunger first. Too many kids die every year from hunger and malnutrition. I wouldn’t give a shit about whether you do it with another guy, or girl, or a donkey for that matter.

End tangent.

God seems to really care about sex. No wonder people assume he’s a guy! That’s why I firmly believe that Christianity, in particular, was manipulated by Monks to make the rest of us feel guilty for wanting to have sex. The reason being this: Monks were the photocopiers of the past. They copied Biblical text. Is it too hard to believe that there were some editorial changes made?

Plus, monks loved the alcohol!!! Perhaps one drunken evening…

What about slavery?

People often ask me why I’m so anti-religion. My replies over the months and years have fermented into this: god loves slaves. In fact, god loves slavery so much, in his last book (according to Muslims), he gave specific instructions on how to treat slaves. Never mind that he never mentions that slavery is bad. People can side-step and dance around other topics in these “holy” books all they want, but there’s one thing that they cannot escape. The clear absence of any passage remotely condemning slavery is significant.

If you’re an ex-Muslim or ex-Christian that’s trying to bone-up on their debating tactics against the believers, practice saying this: “God loves slavery”. I challenge any person to find a passage in the Bible or the Quran that openly condemns slavery and states that slaves should be set free. No fuzzy, gray innuendos; I want god to say straight-up: “Let your slaves go. I don’t like slavery.”

Where are all the Pakistani atheists?

I’ve been crawling all over the internet in search of my species: the Pakistani atheist. So far, I’ve only run into a handful. With the Internet, there is a newfound freedom that journalists and citizens can now enjoy. The anonymity the Internet provides is important; it should free us all to write what we think secretly, without fear.

So, I’m begging you: pretty please - with sugar on top - stop being silent. I know that if you’ve left Islam, you’re probably not going to be “sold” on another religion. Take up a pseudonym and start writing. After all, do you think my real name is Nimbu?

After many months of doing this, I’m sad to see that it’s only me and a few others that are speaking out.

Halal food?

Living in the US, pigs are everywhere! They’re in my Twinkies, french fries, burgers, breakfast foods - they’re everywhere! Why does God hate pigs? I don’t get it. If he’s God, why didn’t he make pigs just a little bit cleaner, so that I could enjoy wonderful, tasty bacon? Mmmm, bacon.

So I’m at a bar-b-q at my parents house over the 4th. Tradition - just like most other Americans. My mom likes to shop at halal grocery stores where they have special halal meats. What is halal? According to my dear friend Wiki (and the Quran):

“He hath only forbidden you dead meat, and blood, and the flesh of swine, and that on which any other name hath been invoked besides that of Allah. But if one is forced by necessity, without wilful disobedience, nor transgressing due limits - then is he guiltless. For Allah is Oft-Forgiving Most Merciful”[Qur'an 2:73]

Damnit. Why swine?

So back at the bar-b-q, mom brings out marinated “halal” chicken. I slap it down on the grill. After a couple of minutes, blood starts to ooze from the meat. Disgusting! I tell my mom that this is horrible - haram food doesn’t do this! We got into a lengthy discussion about how God didn’t know about organic and non-organic meats. He only tells us not to eat pig. Oh, he does teach us how to “sacrafice” food: allowing for the blood to completely drain from the body before cooking. Aparently, our “halal” butcher forgot about that part!

I asked her: What’s better? What they feed the chicken (antibiotics, steroids, pesticides, etc.), or how they kill that chicken? Would you rather have a “halal” chicken that’s loaded with sodium, nitrates, antibiotics, steroids and “god” know what else? What gives? Shouldn’t God have also prohibited antibiotics and steroids in the Quran? He probably didn’t know the future. Oh wait…